Let's Talk Television: no one survives the star wars

Now with sections on death and costuming. Not in combination. Yet.

New This Week

• The Last of Us (Max)

• Alert: Missing Persons Unit (Hulu)

• Andor (Disney+) — three-episode season premiere

• FBI (Paramount+)

• FBI: Most Wanted (Paramount+)

• Chicago Med (Peacock)

• Elsbeth (Paramount+)

• Law & Order: Organized Crime (Peacock)

• Leverage: Redemption (Prime)

• NCIS: Sydney (Paramount+) — season finale

• Black Butler: Emerald Witch Arc (Crunchyroll)

This week on SVU

Actual SVU was off this week, but the rest of the shows stepped in with sexual exploitation, sexual abuse, sexual assault, child abandonment, and multiple children raised in cults.

Andor holds up the ripped-from-the-headlines banner with a plot about undocumented immigrants. It is very not subtle and casts ICE as Imperials (correct). Bix (Adria Arjona) finds herself with unwanted attention from a particularly nasty one who tries to sexually assault her, so she kills him. Poor Bix already had nightmares about all the torture and assault she endured last season, and I wish I could save her, but she’s in Star Wars.

On Chicago Med, Frost (Darren Barnet) has a young patient who is left at the hospital with a letter stating his mother is giving up custody. Frost takes this poorly and lies to the kid about what happened to his mom, prompting Dr. Charles (Oliver Platt) to speak with him about harsh truths. Frost takes that even more poorly. He starts to spiral and reveals his sexual past with Ainsley (guest Jessalyn Gilsig). Charles agrees with Maggie (Marlyne Barrett) that hey, so that was rape, and Frost finally admits it and confronts her. Hopefully, he can start to heal now.

On FBI: Most Wanted, the murder of an astronaut leads to a teen girl’s “Fans Allowed” account. I do love the Wolfverse’s fake product names of real things. The girl, Leah (guest Olivia Reis), was raised by a conservative Mennonite father who is now killing off her Fans Allowed clients. Also, he strangled her mother, who Leah thought died of cancer, and put her in a freezer. And Leah is only on Fans Allowed to raise money so her drama teacher could buy off her ex-boyfriend, who was blackmailing her with a sex video they’d made together. Anyway, the FBI tracks down the murderous dad and kills him when he attacks them, which Leah sees as setting her free (yikes, that’s a bad childhood). Barnes (Roxy Sternberg) and Hana (Keisha Castle-Hughes) choose not to arrest her for using a fake ID in order to be on Fans Allowed because they, too, want her to be free. Hana also offers to scrub her photos off the web so she can start over with a clean slate.

On Black Butler, we get a glimpse of Finny’s past, which is basically the plot of Hanna or Black Widow or Stranger Things—he’s a genetically enhanced super soldier who didn’t have a name until Ciel and Sebastian found him. Meanwhile, on Andor, Dedra (Denise Gough) was raised in an Imperial Kinderblock after her criminal parents were killed when she was three. I need to know absolutely everything about that.

Finally, on Organized Crime, Jet (Ainsley Seiger) spent her two weeks off enhancing the algorithmic program Vargas (Tate Ellignton) created to find victims of interstate serial killers to run all across the United States. The FBI is interested and offered her a job. Bell (Danielle Moné Truitt) tells her it’s okay to leave (noooooo!). Which brings us to—

Can Elliot Stabler catch one (1) break? As a treat?

Two weeks after losing Bunny, Elliot (Christopher Meloni) fails to save four more people. Dead this episode: Carlo, the leader of Los Santos, who OCCB took down last season (nine months ago in the series) and was set to go on trial but the witness recanted; Carlo’s shooter, an altar boy hitman dressed as a bailiff, whom Elliot shoots when he refuses to lower his gun; Bryanna, the witness who recanted; and the kid who (probably) shot her, another altar boy hitman who throws himself off a building in front of Elliot rather than be arrested. Cool, cool, cool.

Elliot connects the deaths to the Camorra, whom I am calling the Secret Secret Italians because they are more ancient, more deadly, and more secret than the Mafia, aka the Secret Italians. (Those who’ve followed me since 2020 will recognize this as a shout-out to my Star Trek: Picard photocaps.) Elliot dealt with the Secret Secret Italians in Italy and has a CI, Isabella (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio), whom he loops in to help him translate coded prayer cards that the two altar boy hitmen had on them. HOWEVER, because Elliot cannot catch even half a break, we learn that Isabella’s grandson (and potentially Isabella herself) is one of the Secret Secret Italians taking out Los Santos so they may take over their territory/drug operation in NYC—and literally Long Island City, where Elliot lives. Cool, cool, cool.

And just to really drive home the narrative of loss, impotence, and precarity, immediately after saying goodbye to Jet, his work-daughter, and only two weeks after almost dying twice, Elliot is shot at outside his home alongside his son and his son’s pregnant girlfriend. Cool, cool, cool. (NOT COOL)

Family matters

Also continuing the narrative of loss, impotence, and precarity, Eli (Nicky Torcha) is assigned to gang patrol two weeks out of the academy, which Elliot, rightly, doesn’t approve of. But suggesting so to Eli’s training officer results in Eli’s coworkers nicknaming him Baby Stabler and gifting him a doll dressed as a police officer. First, hazing is awful, but Baby Stabler is not inaccurate. Eli is the youngest Stabler, and he absolutely looks like a child dressed up in his father’s clothes when in uniform. In the scene with Elliot and the TRO, Eli looks about fourteen years old in comparison. Second, the TRO clearly does not like Elliot, and we should remember that Elliot is not exactly popular with a lot of the NYPD.

In mom news, Randall (Dean Norris) confirms(ish) that Bernie (Ellen Burstyn) is in communication with Joe Jr. On Andor, Syril (Kyle Soller) and Dedra host Syril’s mom for a delightfully awkward dinner. On Leverage, Harry (Noah Wyle) gets the team to go after the con man who swindled his mother. And on Elsbeth, Teddy (Ben Levi Ross) plans to attend law school because he sees how much good his mother has done in NYC…except then her client(ish) kills the judge they were building a case against, which means the client goes to jail for life while the judge is remembered as a good person and not the murderer (at least) two times over he really was. At which point Teddy decides that nothing anyone does matters and gives up his law ambition.

On Alert: MPU, Kemi (Adeola Role) helped Sidney (Fivel Stewart) find her birth mom, who goes missing in this episode. Jay (Scott Caan) and Mike (Ryan Broussard), AKA Dad 1 and Dad 2, track her down, and Sidney talks her off a literal ledge by revealing she’s pregnant. If Nik never existed and MPU were My Two Dads from the beginning, I would be so very into all of this.

Speaking of pregnancy, on Chicago Med, Hannah (Jessy Schram) offers to be a surrogate for her sister, which Archer (StevenWeber) thinks is a bad idea. Also in Chicago, Sharon (S Epatha Merkerson) meets her live-in boyfriend’s daughter, who didn’t know she existed, but they bond when Sharon tells her how much of a presence her mother was in her life even after her death.

When you are standing next to the person you can’t imagine losing the most

The above is a quote from this week’s episode of FBI, literally titled “Partner”. In a plot reminiscent of The Peacemaker (the truly absurd George Clooney and Nicole Kidman movie that only I remember, but I love it), our FBI has to evacuate Wall Street when a man with a grudge plans to set off an anthrax bomb. The bomb goes off, but Maggie (Missy Peregrym) and OA (Zeeko Zaki) successfully 1) get it into an underground safe so only that building is affected, and 2) remove the canister of anthrax so it’s not let loose in the city. Maggie and OA are in mortal danger twice in this episode (Elliot Stabler style), but they and their beautiful partnership survive stronger than ever.

NCIS: Sydney’s JD (Todd Lasance) and Mackey (Olivia Swann) spent most of this episode like they did last episode, at odds over her relationship with Etienne. But they spent the last five minutes as they do every episode, clearly pining for each other while saving the day.

MPU’s Jay and Mike “can’t imagine a better partner” to work with and/or raise a child with, which, again, is adorable and wonderful except that they were both partnered with and married to Nik. Paired with Sidney finding her birth mom, it’s icky.

And in union proud news, it’s Maggie versus Sharon, and Sharon hired scabs! I look forward to her comeuppance and apology!

Lost this week

Apparently, I need to have a section for which main and/or supporting characters died this week.

Andor, a spin-off of Rogue One, is expected to be a bloodbath, but I was still not prepared to lose Brasso (Joplin Sidbain) so soon and with so little fanfare. Brasso, Cassian’s oldest friend, the man who started the riot at Marvaa’s funeral, who found love in exile and spends his last moments trying to wave imperial attention off of the people who risked their lives to save him, dies off-screen and alone.

We are also poised to lose Tay Kollma (Ben Miles), the childhood friend of Mon Mothma who helped her hide money last season, but reappears this season disillusioned and prepared to turn in the Rebellion because he’s lost his fortune and his wife and didn’t get what he expected (Mon Mothma) in return. So Luthen (Stellan Skarsgard) sends in Cinta (Varadu Sethu) to murder him, causing Vel (Faye Marsay) to sob on the floor and Mon (Genevieve O’Reilley) to panic at the disco.

Finally, I’ve caught up with The Last of Us, wherein Abby (Kaitlyn Dever) kills Joel (Pedro Pascal) in retribution for Joel killing her father. Of course, Abby kills Joel in front of Ellie (Bella Ramsey), who now vows to kill Abby in retribution for Abby killing her father. Poetry!

I sound facetious, but the series is an adaptation, so while Joel’s death is a creative choice, it’s one that existed from the beginning of the story. It IS poetry. I am willing to believe every death in Andor is purposeful as well, because, again, it’s part of a whole. It is becoming clear that Nik’s death happened because the writers wanted the series to be My Two Dads, and she was in the way, and I fear something similar will come to light in 9-1-1. Ned Stark dies because the story is about his children. Joel dies because the story is about Ellie. Bunny dies because the story is about Elliot. Maybe Bobby dies because the story is about Buck (Oliver Stark). But it was not planned that way from the beginning. And Nik died because the writers were bored.

Anyway, Joel’s death is devastating. The whole episode is well done, especially the attack on the town, but Ellie crying for Joel to get up and Joel using the very last of his strength and life force to try to do it killed me. And Ellie’s heartbreak and rage remind us why Abby does it, which is very good storytelling.

Also Watching

Top Chef and next week is Restaurant Wars! I want a series where Restaurant Wars happens every week. I also, inexplicably, watched all of Suits LA (so far). I’ve only seen a handful of episodes of Suits (and Arrow, for that matter), so it wasn’t a nostalgia thing. Idk, Peacock marketing worked, I guess.

It’s time for PITTCAST

I want to somehow share my binge of The Pitt with my audience. Liz suggested Twitch, but I’m not set up to screencast. What works best, live-chat or liveblog? Or something else? Tell me!

Costuming Sidebar

One, Elliot’s blue-on-blue was striking this week.

Christopher Meloni as Detective Elliot Stabler in Law & Order: Organized Crime. (Peacock)

Blue is Elliot’s power color, and it’s nice to see after so much white lately.

Two, this imperial uniform looks like Starfleet:

Diego Luna as Cassian Andor in Andor. (Disney+)

Like, compare that with this Volente jacket. I actually love this for me. I could/should write so much about Andor’s costuming. I mean, Dedra’s entire wardrobe is the same clothes in black or white. That is COMEDY and TRAGEDY at once!

Denise Gough as Dedra Meeri in Andor. (Disney+)

Mental Illness Sidebar

(This was in last week’s episode of The Last of Us, but I watched it this week.)

Joel has a therapy session, and it’s a lot. His therapist (guest Catherine O’Hara) is the wife of a man he killed, necessarily because post-apocalyptic mushroom zombies, but still. Feels like a conflict of interest. But she’s probably the only therapist around (because of post-apocalyptic mushroom zombies). Anyway, she tells Joel how angry she is about him killing her husband to model admitting a horrible truth, and prompts him to do the same. We cut away so it’s not clear, but I assume he does not tell her the truth about murdering the fireflies (and their doctor, Abby’s dad) to save Ellie. And then Abby kills him before their next session (and for all we know, she died in the attack on the town). But setting the outcomes aside, what do we think of her methods?

Under normal circumstances, she should lose her license for agreeing to treat Joel in the first place. In post-apocalyptic mushroom zombies circumstances, it kinda works for me. In a weird, messy way, she’s creating a safe space for him, and I wish we got to see it play out.

Ship of the Week

In Philadelphia, Helen (Diana Bang) and her exotic dancer are still going strong. She even agrees to introduce him to her mother, and he shows up at the precinct in a sweater instead of his fauz uniform. Awww, they are meeting in the middle.

In Chicago, Lenox (Sara Ramos) and Hayes (Brendan Hines) continue to make plans for their conference getaway, including extending it so they can go to an amusement park (so cute!). However, Hayes tells Lenox not to bug Naomi (Ashleigh Sharpe Chestnut) about her shaky transition to his team, and Lenox ignores the request and basically calls Naomi a disappointment that she regrets helping. I expect this to come back to throw a rock in their relationship next week.

In New Orleans, with Hardison (Aldis Hodge) gone, my Parker/Eliot (Beth Riesgraf, Christian Kane) feels are returning at force, but they are complicated by the potential for Sophie/Eliot (Gina Bellam), given that Sophie/Harry is not nearly as flirty as they used to be. In other words, I find myself with too many ships because the show isn’t giving me any.

In Sydney, JD and Mackie should have gone home together.

In space, Brasso found love, but then he died, and Wil (Muhannad Bhaier) found love, but then he fled. Leida (Bronte Carmichael) thinks she’s found something in her marriage, but Mon knows she’s wrong. Mon/Tay is dead because Tay is a traitor and gross, and now also dead. Vel/Cinta is on hold because Cinta doesn’t trust Vel, and now Vel knows she killed Tay. The only romance flourishing in the galaxy far, far away is Syril and Dedra, and it is the kind of romance you get under a fascist regime: antiseptic and coldhearted.

In NYC, Remy (Dylan McDermott) and his lawyer fight over their bar plan, but really, their relationship. In the end, he comes around and the scene/episode ends on the ‘big question’: “What are we gonna call this place?” They are so random, actually. Hana misses Ethan (Michael Raymond-Jones), and I’m pulling for them. Maggie and OA are soulmates and perfect. Eli and Becky (Kiaya Scott) are adorable, and I love them. And, semi-related:

In Italy of the past, Elliot FaceTimes with Kathy (Isabel Gillies), and they are also adorable! They are, in fact, my ship of the week. Unpopular opinion, I guess, but I like Kathy Stabler and I like that Elliot loves her. It doesn’t negate any of his feelings for Olivia (Mariska Hargitay). Elliot, of all people, can love two women at once. His biggest strength and biggest flaw are the same: he feels so much all the time. I liked seeing Wife Guy Elliot Stabler.

Show of the Week

Andor

What are YOU watching?